


v1

by tondr



Category: Original Work
Genre: Autism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-10-08 01:36:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17377067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tondr/pseuds/tondr





	1. inaccurate response.

You don't like it when people you don't know speak to you.

and it makes you feel so weird. 

You don't like it when an acquaintance or friend speaks to you.

and it makes you feel so guilty.

You ignore the encouraging words of those closest to you, only because it's better for silence.

Silence is more comfortable, isn't it?

The heat from your face swells into sweat, and you feel like you're being asphyxiated by an invisible social pressure.

You only uncontrollably smile as tension builds in your gut.

You don't know why you smile, because you don't feel happy at all.

“How are you?”

What are you supposed to say back? 

“My weekend was pretty exciting.” They continued.

Okay?

You may feel trapped inside an invisible wall, a wall that's been created only by yourself. What will you say in response? What feels comfortable for you?

Avoidance of eye contact? Yes.

One word responses? Yes.

Or complete silence? That's the best approach.

You'll ignore it, right? 

Don't keep smiling please, because you're only fueling their ego.

Your face can't seem to straighten.

Why are you smiling if you're not happy?

“I can't help it.”

Why not?

“I don't know.”


	2. a good day.

I feel happy today.

 

Are you happy too?

 

Why are you concerned about me?

 

I feel happy, so why are you asking me these worried questions? Was it something I said? Something I did? 

The monotone voice that threw you off? I feel happy though!

 

I don't understand?

 

Please keep talking about things that make you happy! Really, I'm here to listen. 

 

What? I don't seem interested? But I am?

 

Was it something I said?

 

Was it something I did?

 

Can you please tell me? I don't understand?

 

I'm happy, I swear. I enjoy spending time with you, please don't feel insecure with me.

 

My face seems disinterested? 

 

I can't really help that, and I don't know why. 

 

I'm sorry.


	3. familiarity of a phrase.

Sometimes I eat too fast or too slow, and I'll have expectant eyes on me during the process.

“I'm sorry.” I'll probably say.

***

Someone just ran into me in the hallways, not even looking where they were going.

“I'm sorry.” I said.

***

“Hand me a napkin, please?”

“Yes, sorry.”

***

“Stop staring at me like that.”

“Sorry.”

***

“Can I borrow a pen?”

“Yes, sorry. Please keep it.” 

***

“Stop doing that, it makes you look weird.”

“Sorry.”

***

“Why would you say something like that?”

“I'm sorry.”

***

“You're a rotten person.”

...

“I'm sorry.”


End file.
